Many of you have wondered many things about me. Some of you are wondering how or where does this man come up with such things? And then further along, in your queries, you might be wondering where are the headquarters of such a intriguing man? Where does this man sleep? Does he sleep? Where is he when he’s not outside waging wars on tornadoes and wrestling wild dogs? Well, my folk, I’m here to tell you, that this man does have a home, and does have place to they he’s crazy head. I wont just tell you, I will show you.
For those of you who have not had the absolute pleasure to view my humble living quarters, I present to you, somewhere between myth, fact and/or renovation, my house.
It not just any home, it is fully operational headquarters of Michael Sanders Inc. It is the home of all things I create, dream, and scheme.
I speak the truth, when I tell you this is my house! There are no fabrications here.
I live in a huge fortress of 14 rooms ( and 4 and half baths - not all in picture)
Let me give you a virtual tour
1. The Captain’s Room - My Room. Best in the house. A loft complete with the Alma mater Pirate Flag, 40 pipe collection, 1970’s deluxe entertainment center that was hoisted up to its glory, lava laps, Guitar Hero, brown captain’s recliner with matching brown rug, and with a laminating speckle of 12 overhead dimmer lights for any mood.
2. The Situation Room - To the back of the Captain’s Room lies a command center that rivals any supermarket security room. Fit for any emergency, like floods, storms, invasions, Tornado tracking, and a direct line to an all night Mac support team.
3. The Super Secret Passage - At the back of the situation room lies a secret corridor that is programmed to only hold my weight. Any other weight, light or heavy, will result in falling through the ceiling below, thus owing my landlord a lot of money.
4. The Super Secret Room - The contents of this room are extremely secret. All that can be described are as followed: extra bed, a periscope, a mini fridge and emergency roof top access.
5. The Crow’s Nest - The almighty perch which overlooks into Alexandria and straight at the mysterious Masonic Temple, which I am convinced to be the rival my palace. Equipped with zip line for any speedy exit.
6. The Spine of Odin - No door is worthy of the Captain’s Room! But a furious spiral staircase made from the vertebrae of an ancient pterodactyl! Thus helping the house receive the title of the Tower!
7. Ball Room - No evening gown required here, just some comfortable clothes and a good attitude to enter. Who in there right mind would not want a ball pit in house? EVERYONE, that’s who! For 20 years I have taken one McDonalds’s play pin ball on each visit, finally I have enough to fill the once master bedroom, making it best for R&R or slumber parties
8. The Frou Frou Room - The Pink walled female living quarters. It is a generous room with full walk-in closet and full bathroom. This is the room where my sister resides. Woopty Doo!
9. The Commodore Quarters - This small room off the front of the second floor is just another bedroom in the house. The coolest thing about this room is it’s name. It is were third roommate in the house is now located after being relocated out of the now Ball Room.
10. El Parlór (L-Par-Lor) - Once the door man has greeted you on arrival, be sure indulge in the artwork and have a mint julep a the counter, while you await your host. If you don’t care for mint juleps, there is always a 2 liter of Slice in the mini fridge)
11. The Mighty Dine - The 15th century Gothic dinning room. It is hardly ever used, but for corporate meetings, Risk, Apples to Apples.
12. The Kitchen - Can’t say I spend a lot time in here.
13. The Lion’s Den - The minimalistic room is filled with three couches, TV center, and the skull remains of a slain Minotaur for all to see.
14. The Porch of the Pegasus - Before entering the presence of the Tower, one must climb the 70 plus stars and take heed to the Statue of the Pegasus.
15. Pirate BAAAARRR! - What better place to entertain guests than a swashbuckling pirate bar. Sing songs, tell stories, Song songs about stories….
16. Workshop - Anytime something is in need of a fixin’, drillin’, wrechin’, or carvin’, it will take place here. Also serves a side entrance for bikes, the Pirate BAAAARRR and the notorious Rumpus Room!
17. The Rumpus Room - Converted from the place of a roommate that is never here, the Rumpus Room serves to accommodate any show or an infamous Michael Sanders dance party. Daft Punk willplay at my House…
18. Hit the Deck! - The perfect weapon for summer BBQs.
So there you have it. My home. And the best is yet to come. For this is a mere phase 1 of 12 in the epic saga of The Michael Sanders empire.