It’s that time again! That’s right folks, we now continue diving future into the psychy of little 10 year ol’ Michael J.
Again, it was fourth grade in Mrs. Shandler’s class. this time it was Cereal Box designing! “Great! Let’s see what kid of cracked out malice on paper the Sanders kid can crank out.” I do not recall if this was before or after the Hannibal the Cannibal’s Cafe debacle. But Although it was not as troubling as before, it still was creepy and bizarrely creative to say the least.
This is the menu I came up with:
Eat it up folks.
“BAREF OATS! and don’t forget kids, ‘Oats! It’s Smelly, It’s Looksvery Goodit!’”
I must have not been around anyone to ask how to spell the key most important word in the entire project “barf”, at the time. And due to trademark laws, we will just have to stick with “Baref Oaks.”
Also, let’s make sure eveyone is clear that Baref Oats are NOT 100% FAT FREE! They could be at little fat free, or even not at all, we aren’t really that sure. We just don’t want to give the wrong impression of our product. Vagueness is what we want in a child’s diet.
While other brands rely on sugars, nuts, and even dried fruit, we at Baref Oats rely on the only the following ingredients.
- Baref Brokly - not to be confused with barfed up broccoli. It’s different!
- Baref Bamana - not to confused with barfed up bananas. Also different!
- Baref Blue - wait. What? If I ever barf up anything blue, please call poison control.
- Molb - I have so many questions about this one I don’t know where to start!
- Is it some sort of type of bacteria that comes from a stomach?
- Did you mean mold?
- How would you not die from this?
Don’t forget to dig out your “Hole Penny” prize at the bottom box when you are done.
And no comment on the floating head with scary yellow animal-esk teeth. Yeesh!
Tune in next time when we unveal the next cereal “Ebola Granola” (that was my in 7th grade year. A monkey dancing with a guy in a hazmat suite was on the cover. Another blog, another day.)